Ornamental Pears

Psalm 1, Men and Their Nature, A Short Post, A Long Vision

Psalm 1

1 Blessed is the man
    who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,
nor stands in the way of sinners,
    nor sits in the seat of scoffers;
² but his delight is in the law of the Lord,
    and on his law he meditates day and night.

³ He is like a tree
    planted by streams of water
that yields its fruit in its season,
    and its leaf does not wither.
In all that he does, he prospers.

For some time now, I’ve sensed God leading me to speak and write to men. Specifically about what Christianity has to say about the way men are to understand their nature, and how they relate to each other as men and more importantly to the women and children in their care. I’ve been encouraged by several men from different sides of evangelicalism, men like

Aaron M. Renn

,

Michael & Emily Foster

, John Piper, Voddie Baucham, Ray Ortlund and many others who see this need and are speaking to men.

Much of the time, our conception of headship or male leadership gets reduced down to who preaches the Sunday sermon at church, or who breaks the tie at home.

Discussions about men in the home and church are typically framed as an issue of roles, or the different expressions of masculinity.

But, as our culture has shown us, roles can be interchangeable and expressions of masculinity can be framed as simply performative or “social constructions.” Nature, however, is something entirely different. Our nature is hard-wired into us. Concepts like the Natural Law speak to God’s unchangeable ordering of the cosmos. Our nature is inherent, unalterable, and an inescapable part of who we are. In the creation story, our sex as male or female is the second thing we learn about ourselves as creatures. I think it is safe to say, this is pretty important stuff.

Men today appear to be experiencing a crisis of meaning. Much ink has been spilled of late on this issue, best-selling book titles like “Of Boys and Men” and “The Toxic War on Masculinity” are clues that we are slowly waking up to this reality. It would do us well to pay attention and seek an understanding of why men aren’t doing too well.

Because it is a dangerous world when men forget what they were made for.

I want to hear more and talk more about this issue of our nature and our meaning: what is a man? what does it mean to be a man? and what is he for?

Being a man is not a social construction. A “man” is the kind of being he is. A man was built for something and is ordered towards something. This is far from a decisive or definitive list but might include things like: being the first to lay down his life, protecting and guarding, pioneering and providing, sacrificial authority, stewarding the primary responsibility for leading and teaching his family etc.

If you read what I write it will come as no surprise to you that I believe our culture is hostile towards men. Granted, there are some good historical and cultural reasons for why that is, men have done much wrong and both the church and the broader culture has turned a blind eye to those wrongs at times. 

But I’m not sure this knowledge alone fixes the problem.

As I survey the landscape, there seems to be a chronic and unhelpful chain reaction always at play. We are usually reacting, or, reacting to a reaction.

For instance, in the culture broadly, I see many people warmly embracing a reaction to the abuses from men, a reaction that led to women’s liberation movements and the feminist/egalitarian deconstruction of masculinity. More recently I see others embracing a reaction to that reaction, on the other side, resulting in what seems to be a burgeoning, muscular, “Bronze Age Pervert” style men’s movement on the “new right.” Unfortunately, versions of both of these reactions have crept into the Church as well.

I would rather stop always reacting and only deconstructing, and instead start to build a positive, durable, and deeply biblical vision for men today.

Uncovering and building this vision is no easy task of course, I imagine it will be much more of a slow crawl than a fast sprint. But I’m asking God to begin to develop in me a vision for what it might look like. I want to share with you a picture I believe He gave me this morning.

I was taking an early morning walk in the park with a good friend. And as the sun came up, I began to notice these beautiful trees with pretty white flowers on them. I didn’t realize they were there while it was dark, but as the light came up I began to notice them. They were everywhere. My eyes kept going and going. It was bracing and shocking how many there were, but I was glad they were there. I took a deep breath and exhaled. They were beautiful, they calmed me and gave a sense of wonder. My friend who apparently knows much more about trees than I do told me, “They’re called ‘Ornamental Pear’ trees.” He explained to me that they are an invasive species of trees, and that local residents are trying to get the municipality to cut them all down. 

My hope and prayer is to help build a group of men who are like those Ornamental Pear trees.

A beautiful and invasive species. A beautiful thorn in the side of a godless, hostile culture around them. A splash of color, purity and brightness in a world of grey. A group of men, who like the tree in Psalm 1 are rooted by an eternal source of Living Water, and bear real lasting fruit. A group of men who are strong and in tune with their nature. Men who are sacrificial leaders and who use their strength to empty themselves for their people. Men, who when they show up to a crisis, the people around them think “I am so glad that guy is here.”

Men who love God deeply, and love those under their care with a gentle power. Men who never look away from a need or a problem, but lean into it with love. A group of men who learn how to respond instead of react. A group of men who hear their wives and children crying out for spiritual leadership in their home, and by the grace of God respond to those cries with an unmatched gladness and boldness. Men who are living a real gospel life together with other men, confessing sin, talking openly to each other, confronting each other lovingly, praying for one another, forgiving one another. 

Men who are the first to stick their neck out.

Men who are the first to model submission and obedience for those who are called to submit to and obey them.

Men who do not shrink back or blow up, but remain level-headed and sober-minded even in the most difficult of times.

I am abundantly blessed by God. I am surrounded by men who want this and are trying to do it. Men mostly experience surface-level, cold, and transactional relationships with other men. Not me. I am a beneficiary of a robust and warm community of men.

We talk about the realest of things. Yes, we watch the Eagles or talk about Finances or whatever, but the really good stuff is that long, hard talk you had with your wife last night. Or that piece of God you see in your child that you want to encourage and cultivate. Or an idea you have to incorporate family worship into your home. Or a new ministry you and your family can build your life around. Or that destructive thing in our culture you want to rail against and bring biblical correction to. That’s the good stuff. I want to help build and grow with a culture of men like that.

Will you pray for me?

---

Thank you so much for reading. If you read this and have a thought, please leave a comment here or email me (below). My primary motivation for writing is to create more good conversation around cultural, theological and political issues. I would love to hear your thoughts.

jeffreycharlescaldwell@gmail.com